5 Reasons Why People Procrastinate on Their To-Do Lists

5 Reasons Why People Procrastinate on Their To-Do Lists

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To do list

 

By Maribel Garcia Valls, MPH, ACC with Bee Happi

If you are reading this, then I know that you have completed everything on your to-do list. And you are not reading this email on “procrastination” to procrastinate on something that you are dreading to finish. If you have not finished your to-do list, that is okay. I’m not here to make you feel guilty about that long list of exciting activities (like paying bills or mowing the grass) that you have been putting off for days, weeks, months, or years.

No, I wouldn’t do that. That would make me a hypocrite. In fact, I am putting off folding the laundry to write about “why people procrastinate?”

So why do people procrastinate? Here are the top 5 reasons and solutions for each:

  1. The to-do list is TOO long and unrealistic.Are you putting off tasks?

Solution: Create your list and then break it up in small manageable chucks. Follow the 80/20 Principle, which says that 80% of our results only come from 20% of our actions. And also remember that you don’t have to do everything yourself. Ask for help like the queen bee does, “many hands makes light work.”

  1. The idea of having to do everything on the list is overwhelming, which might lead someone to think, “Where do I start?”

Solution: Be kind to yourself. The list is there is help you, not freak you out. If you don’t get everything done, it is okay! There is always tomorrow.

  1. The activities themselves may seem hard, boring, and no fun! People would rather do anything else.

Solution: Change the way you think about this list of activities. Even the most mundane task can be turned into a game. Adding play into any task will make it fun and enjoyable. It is a win, win situation. If you want to learn more, check out my blog post called, “3 Simple Steps to Improve Your Positive Self-Talk.”

  1. Some tasks can cause anxiety, like paying taxes or going to the dentist for a root canal.

Solution: Avoiding tasks that cause pain or anxiety will eventually cause more pain in the future if they are delayed. In these cases, think about what you will gain once that task is completed. For instance, think of how great you will feel after your teeth are cleaned and you have no cavities. Tony Robbins says, “The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors.”

  1. There are so many distractions.

Solution: There are so many distractions like e-mail, social media, other people, etc. Set some time in your day to commit to completing your tasks. As Stephen Covey would say, “Always, keep the end in mind.” Once you finish everything, you will have more time to do other things you enjoy.

Final thoughts: The days go by quickly and it is easy to get overwhelmed by our daily tasks. Take each day one at a time and know that you don’t have to do everything. In your day, schedule time for just “guilt-free nothingness.” This will help you rest your mind and body so that you can be energized and productive throughout your day.

Bee Happy, Be Happy, Bee Happy


When is it Time to Stop Being Nice and Say No More Favors!

Category : Blog

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By: Maribel Garcia Valls, MPH, ACC- Coach, Writer, & Author  Bee Happi

Can I ask you for a favor? Can you please stop doing favors for “chronic favor askers?” Most of us have met somebody like this where one favor leads to a tidal wave of other favors. And each request has a compelling story to go with it like: some crisis happened and they need you to pick up their kids. Or their car broke down and they need a ride to work all week. Or they are strapped for cash and need money now!

If you get caught up in a “favor frenzy” like this or worse, put a stop to it immediately. This sounds harsh and it may hurt some feelings. The bottom line is to know when to “say no” when somebody is taking advantage of you and overusing their “favor card”!

Dr. Stephan KarpmanThe Karpman Drama Triangle developed this social model called “The Drama Triangle.” The model talks about “personal responsibility” and “power of conflicts” as it relates to the destructive and shifting roles people play. There are three roles to this model: the victim, persecutor, and the rescuer.

  1. The victim always feels like the victim. They are powerless and feel sorry for themselves. They think, “I am blameless.”
  1. The persecutor is dominating others in the problem state and blames everybody else. They think, “I’m right, your wrong.”
  1. The rescuer is always feeling sorry for others. They try to help others even when help is not needed or wanted because they fear that they won’t be needed. They think, “I was just trying to help.”

Eventually each of these roles becomes the victim. It is a viscous cycle that you don’t want to get caught up in. Remember that you can’t be everything to everyone. Sometimes you have to take care of you and others have to take responsibility for their own choices. Now, most people want to be kind and helpful to others. In fact, one of the things that makes many people happy is practicing random acts of kindness and giving back. Still, it is important to create boundaries and stick to them. Sometimes we just have to say “No More Favors”!

Here are some things to consider the next time you do a favor for anybody:

  1. Is this a reoccurring request for help? If you continue to help this person, you might be enabling them from making better choices, since you are always there to bail them out.
  1. Does this person really need help? Sometimes people want to make their lives easier by burdening somebody else. If you always say yes, then “their problems” are now “your problems”.
  1. Is the person grateful for your acts of kindness? Does this person say thank you or try to give back in any way?  When we give, we really shouldn’t expect anything in return. However, if you give and give and receive nothing, then the other person might be taking advantage of you.

Final thoughts:

In Deepak Chopra’s Book The Way of the Wizard: 20 Lessons for Living a Magical Life, there is great quote that says:

“When you see suffering, go, and relieve it, but make sure you don’t come away with the suffering sticking to you”

Namaste!

Stop being nice and say no


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